Stress for all the family

Stress is ubiquitous in our society.

Stress and the child.

Life can be just as stressful for children as it is for their parents.

There is a big rush to get ready in the morning as the whole family exits.  Breakfast is often eaten on the run or in the car or missed altogether.

School or pre-school can be stressful; coping all day in a classroom of twenty or thirty classmates who may or may not be brutal. Children can be cruel and life in the playground can be tough for a sensitive soul!

Teachers are human and not always fair.  They can have bad days.

Mothers and fathers are human and not always fair.  They can have bad days.

Then there is the after-school rush to music, dancing, swimming, tennis, soccer, maths tuition, english tuition, scouts, brownies and remedial reading.

This is followed by large amounts of never-ending homework which starts in kindergarten and continues for the next thirteen years.

Eat dinner, go to bed, get up and start all over again.

Stress and the mother at home.

Husbands are out ‘hunting for food’ as they always have done. (but not so much with spears nowadays) and mum is on duty twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.  The going can get tough when a new baby arrives and the toddler is still in nappies; (makes me feel tired just thinking about it) husband is away on a business trip yet again and the grandparents are working or taking a caravan around Australia.  Mothers can feel exhausted, isolated and unable to cope.

Gone is the family network of grannies, aunties, sisters and cousins.  Grannies and aunties now go out to work and are not able to help.  Families are much smaller and family members no longer stay in close proximity to each other.  They move to different towns, suburbs or even different countries.

Gone is the neighbourhood network, where each house had a woman at home who could be a support and could in turn be supported by their neighbour with a casserole or two, a bit of baby-sitting or a chatty cup of tea.

Stress and the working mother.

Multi taskers R us!  Wake up, get showered, dressed, put on a load of washing, get the dish washer unloaded, wake up the kids, get them up, dressed, breakfasted, lunches packed, sports uniform found, violin located, load into car, drop at the school gate.  GO TO PAID JOB  (That’s the easy bit)  collect kids from school, soccer training, ballet, maths tutoring; supermarket for food, home, prepare dinner, supervise homework, bath, bed, light’s out  NOW.  Collapse.  Talk to husband for two minutes before falling asleep on chair.  Go to bed and do it all again tomorrow.

Then there’s the pressure to meet society’s expectations as dictated by television and  the popular press. Slim and drop dead gorgeous at all times, (even whilst nine months pregnant or twenty-four hours post natal;) a cordon bleu cook, the perfect housekeeper of an immaculate stylish home, sex siren in the bedroom, regular exerciser, witty conversationalist, marital therapist, child psychologist and contributor to the family purse.

So even if we are busy every waking moment and one hundred percent productive at all times, we can never live up to that image because it just isn’t real.

Stress and the mature woman.

Woman in the midst of menopause may be challenged at times.

During this time, the ovaries gradually reduce their hormone production and the adrenal glands become an important source of sex hormones.  But the adrenal glands also produce our stress hormones and so, in times of high stress when the adrenals are pumping adrenaline to get us through the day, menopausal symptoms are often aggravated.

Night sweats keep us awake so that we are chronically tired and cranky.  Hot flushes are uncomfortable and embarrassing so that we are short and tetchy.  Moods are out of control so that we are totally unreasonable at all times.  ‘Are you talking to me?’

Having babies later in life means that the emotional helter-skelter of those fluctuating hormone levels may coincide beautifully with the dreaded years of teenage rebellion.  Or alternatively, having survived years of dependent children with a glimpse of freedom in sight, we now inherit ageing parents who may be an even bigger nightmare than the adolescents.

Also at this time in life, many women get back into the work force or take up some further education for the first time in years.  It can be a struggle to get the old neurones up to speed again and exams, job interviews and work appraisals can be a daunting experience after many years at home.  Enough to test any woman’s confidence.

‘You’re not going out dressed like that are you, mum?’

Stress and the man of the house.

What happened to that business day that was 9 to 5 with a nice hour or so for lunch?
The norm now seems to be dawn to dusk or longer; pop back to the office to finish a few odd bits and pieces at the weekend; take the lap top home to do some work after dinner; be available at all times via email or mobile phone – including evenings, week-ends, family holidays and when in bed with flu.
Then be the perfect father, bath the baby, tickle the toddler, read a bed-time story; attend school concerts, prize-givings, sports carnivals, soccer matches, netball games and ballet concerts.  But you still can’t win because, as author Christopher Green says - if you’re working more than forty hours per week, by definition you can not a good father because you are just not at home for long enough to give your children adequate time.  More pressure.

Then just try being that modern supportive husband, helping with the supermarket shopping, the cooking, the washing-up, the housework; getting up at night to support your partner in looking after the babies.  More pressure.

Then try to function next day, when your boss is demanding answers and you’re so tired that you just can’t think.  More pressure.

No time for exercise, junk food at lunchtime because it’s quick and easy, drinking too much to help relax, weight gain, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart attack.

STRESS for all the family.

No matter who you are, child or adult, male or female, health is all about balance and you can’t be balanced if you don’t have any free time.

Slow down, eat good food, exercise daily, laugh with your family and have a good night’s sleep.